A tree planted by streams of water

Have I experienced the necessity to offer an explanation to others? Or did I want to convince myself? My inability to convince myself is the issue, not my inability to explain myself to others. I don't comprehend who I am. I think I was trying to cover up the underlying issues with the other discomfort. 

 There isn't a formula. Although it has given me a great deal of independence, it also causes me worry and instability in other ways. Excessive flexibility confuses and frustrates me. The absence of formulas renders me isolated and lonely. However, the uncertainty is compelling to motivate me to continue, as the loneliness and dread allow me to become more authentic. It has become apparent that this reflects the essence of myself. Loneliness is a double-edged sword. It either destroys me or preserves me.

studied the artwork: Water trickling down on the dry ground nurtured a desiccated tree. As time went on, the foliage and branches absorbed the water and began to regenerate.